Take Your Shirt Off and Cry

Nancy Balbirer reflects on her lackluster acting career in NYC and LA, crazed roommates, awful boyfriends, major & minor celebrities, outlawed diet drugs, and bad decisions. Her tales of the 80s and 90s are dated -- many of the celebrities she gossips about are virtually unknown today -- and never rise above a simmering bitterness. Gossip about SNL and Seinfeld is especially boring. She's aiming for "darkly funny" and "searingly honest," but doesn't come close. (And yes, I agree with everyone that "Jane" is Jennifer Aniston.)

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A Red State of Mind: How a Catfish Queen Reject Became a Liberty Belle

Nancy French is one of those right-wing Christian Republicans who thinks she's striking a blow for smart, funny conservatives (yeah, I know, an oxymoron). All she demonstrates is that she's a smug, self-righteous asshat.

Plum Island

Given that Plum Island is an animal disease testing facility for the US government, I expected a cross between Richard Preston and Michael Crichton. The island's actual purpose, however, proves to be a red herring for recuperating NYPD cop John Corey, who struggles to solve the murder of two government biologists by digging through the island's legends & history. Despite the lack of scientific intrigue, DeMille lays out a very human story and leaves the reader satisfied at novel's end.

Beat the Reaper

Not only is Josh Bazell a doctor who can write, but he puts Michael Crichton & Robin Cook to shame with a fast, gripping tale that, in this post-Soprano age, seems all too realistic. Dr. Peter Brown works in the hospital from hell when he runs into an elderly man from his past, and suddenly Pietra Brwna's WITSEC protection is gone. What follows is one of the fastest-paced books ever written. Readers should prepare themselves for high levels of gore and mutilation -- Chuck Palahniuk's Rant is the best comparison -- but just as Pietra Brwna knows how to jerk out a man's throat with his bare hands, Josh Bazell grabs the reader with Peter Brown's tale and doesn't let go until the blood-splattered end.

A Girl and Her Books

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